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Copyright © 2012. Patrick Neo Mabiletsa.

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IF YOU BELIEVE, SHE BELIEVES

I have often wondered what life had or has for me, and I have sometimes asked myself too many questions. Whether I am man enough or even whether I can take care of my wife and whether she does not have to work. Can I be able to provide for her and make her feel the warmth and the love she needs.

I sometimes scream on my own when there are things that I cannot give to her, and I wonder what she is feeling inside about me or what she thinks of me as a man. I put all these pressure on myself, I stress to a point where I get sick. With all these question breaking me down and making me feel useless and make me feel I just want to quit my job.

But let’s face it, a woman in Love does not really care what the husband has or does not have, a woman in love will say I can stand by my husband anytime and anyday when he needs me. A man has to work and be a provider, but if the needs are too much for him, he stresses and get depressed even, because he feels inadequate. He feels that when his wife is not smiling it’s because of him; he feels that when there is no food in the house it’s because of him, he feels the need to even take his own life to end his partners’ misery.

A man starts comparing himself with other men who look like they are doing well providing for their families, a man starts feeling jealous of what other man are doing in their families and what they have achieved. That frustration grows and is planted and engraved onto his mind. He starts to withdraw from many things, and he starts to get frustrated with himself. It takes a strong man to stand up and get up from that situation, it also requires wisdom to handle.

I am saying it requires wisdom because I have seen few man look for jobs far away from home in order to be able to get out of financial difficulties, they eventually manage to and even afford to give their families everything they need, except, it takes them or cost them to spend more time with their families and be close to their children.

So, is it really worth it? When you say I will do anything for my wife, do you mean, try to make it work and fight to get things better while you are with your family or move away to get a job far away where you only see your family once a month?

I have since realised that all the time man spend stressing, if they had given themselves time to see or listen to what their wives are going through, they would’ve solved the problem long time ago, the more a man gets stressed the less chance he gets to think of a solution. But asking the wife what she is thinking instead of assuming she is thinking bad thoughts would actually help.

A man felt small and useless for a very long time and the wife was always pushing him away and always sad and always crying alone in the corner, and he thought it was him, he thought for sure my wife does not love me anymore because I am not a real provider therefore not a real man, only in the end to find out that the wife is desperately praying for him to come back to her and not push her away, she longed for him to stop worrying and just hold her and tell her things will be okay, she wanted to tell him things will workout and that even though she can see he is facing a difficult time, she respects him for what he does.

This is for both man and woman, lets stop having guessing what the other is thinking, its better to ask than to assume “she” or “he” hates me. Whatever you think of yourself, you start believing and it stops you from experiencing the power that is within you, because I personally know that if you have the ability, but do not know, then you are definitely useless. Pick yourself up man and stop stressing, time waits for no man, while you sit and cry, your wife is loosing the faith and giving up, you don’t want that, get into a battle field and show your wife what you can do, because she is staying with you because she knows you can take her out of any situation and protect her.

To the wife, keep praying for him and support him, because if you believe he is Superman, he will show you that he can fly off the building, and if you show him that no matter what, you still love him and care about him, he will definitely rise up to the occasion.

I know, I am a man, I have felt all these emotions before, my wife got me out by believing I can do it. She called me Tarzan and I jumped up and moved trees infront of us. Today we can see the light.