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VALUE OF FRIENDS – OPINION PIECE 5

Have you noticed how many friends we lose along the way due to distance, level of education, lifestyle change and even different view of life? I have lost friends along the way not only because I moved from the town I grew up on, but merely because of change in values, responsibilities as well as in priorities.

I have lost a best friend from high school simply because he chose to drink every moment he gets and get as many girl friends as he can get, the other one chose to go a different route and not be himself anymore. How can we value people one day and the next day they are gone? And how can it be so easy to let go?

I had/have a friend whom I valued dearly, we used to be so close it was amazing, it was like we were brothers, you see us together we were unbreakable, our families knew that we were best of friends (Bffs) until I could not fulfil his needs anymore. When he did not have a job I used to give him money when he asked but when I could not supply anymore he was nowhere to be found.

The main thing I want to highlight is this, how do we learn to make friendships that will last forever without the other person thinking I will benefit from this friendship. Are the words “there is no such thing as an un-selfish act” true? Can we as people be able to be-friend someone whom we are not going to gain anything material wise? Can we manage to be a friend to someone who needs it instead of someone whom we can benefit from.

I have observed that true friends and them that stay longer in the friendship are those that tell the truth always. A true friend tells the truth at all time, to solidify the friendship there needs to be certain goals that friends have that can connect with one another. For instance, my friend wanted to be a Pastor, I also want to be a Pastor one day, we did not know that when we first became friends, but what has kept us together all these years is because we have the same goal and same vision in life.

Can we really be-friend someone we do not share any value with or any dream? Yes I believe we can, because no matter how the dictionary describes the “friendship”, for me that word means “available”, it means to communicate often, to feel one another’s pain and to know when the other is hurting and be able to find words of comfort for them, to be able to encourage and support the other person, to be able to win the favour of the other without having to work hard for it. Basically to be able to feel loved and safe in their presence.

To be able to know when they are bothered, troubled or feel discouraged, a friend is someone who does not necessarily have to be there always, but have to be there in hard times and in good times. When I think about my success, I put my friend in the picture, I dream together with him because I know him and me have the common goal.

I value my friendships simply because they took long to develop, they took hard work and sacrifice, they are earned, and the respect we build with my friends can never be overpowered by a single change of situation or argument, we apologise to each other when we do hurt each other, we laugh at each other, make fun of each other, it is okay. But how much we value each other’s friendship reflects on how we treat each other.